God has a plan for each and every one of us. Yes, this is a belief and I recognize that as I tell this story. This requires faith. I would be a liar if I said I acted one hundred percent based on my beliefs all the time. This never stops God from caring for us. It started, as the Bible says, in the womb, God says he knew us even then.
I was on the phone today to congratulate and old friend and mentor. “How many children do you have now Sandra?”
“Just one boy, a teenager that will be sixteen this summer, July 11. How about you? Seems I remember two girls. I recall the oldest had blue eyes and the yellowest strawberry-blonde hair every seen in this world except that of her mother’s!”
My old mentor signs, “Correct as always. Sixteen? I don’t envy you for sure. Are you a nervous wreck from the driver trainings outings everywhere?”
“Actually no and I am not sure Rusty will ever drive. You see he has Asperger’s or High Functioning Autism depending on the doctor and revision of the codes. Rusty has some other distinct features that make things in our life follow a different train track and schedule.” I state and in my mind know what is coming next.
“Oh Sandra! I am so sorry. I know quite a bit about that. When I was working on my Pharm D., I went on Grand Rounds mostly with this one Neuro-pediatrician that specialized in this. She believed the Theory of Mind was very descriptive of the process that caused social deficits as do I. So sad when genetic mistakes occur like this. These children seemed doomed to a life role as social misfit.”
I talked a few seconds or a minute longer and made my excuse with a promise to keep up knowing I would not. How sad that people like this will never understand my explanation of how Rusty is a blessing. Through him I see the world so many ways. I get to see those invisible rainbows that most miss because they refuse to look at the world twisting their head almost twice and bending over. God has given many of these children/people a special view of the world that is just beyond most or most refuse to take the time to see the beauty. Instead of seeing the invisible rainbow they name these people as abnormal or having things wrong with them. Looking in the mirror to check one’s comprehension escapes most of these so called experts.
This Theory of Mind is really an insult in my books. A very simple statement of this theory is the ability to understand mental states or emotions of others. It seems to be accepted as scientific fact that those with Autism lack Theory of Mind. One teacher said it is like there is a mirror that reflects out of their eyes but not back into their mind so they can respond to the emotion and learn to process or respond to mental states or emotions of others.
I know you might agree with this from what you have seen. You may have come across one of these people that seem to be in a world all his/her own. It appears they may even have a special language. Now I think this may be true, especially when grouped with others of such like awesome talents.
Teachers often gripe and say an autistic child is not paying attention. If you come upon this in life, please, if you can, have the child repeat what the teacher said. Then ask the child what he was doing. I guarantee you odds are that child is doing exactly what the teacher said. To make it interesting, ask little John/Jane what was going on in the classroom at the time. Here is one of those invisible rainbows. This may be the closest thing there is to being transported back in time to a specific time/event. Many of these blessed outcasts can recreate an exact picture for you.
As I said at the start, I do not act on beliefs one hundred percent of the time. One day at the Y pool with a young school age Rusty, he popped this question. “Why do those people have toilet paper in the pool?”
I was in a hurry knowing my husband the way I did. “No Rusty those people do not have toilet paper in the pool. Now let’s go Dad is waiting.” I bent over to get our tools saw the group of chronologically older people using water weights that just happen to be all white. I just discovered all the toilet paper Rusty was seeing in the pool. Finally, I could explain in to Rusty on the way home. As usual it was not him but the normal person that assumed the autistic child was in his own world as always.
Labels are just that. Something a person or group uses to define a thing or person so he/she/they can understand it. This may be right or not. All I know is what I have experienced. Rusty was normal baby if there was one. This could be because in my family each of us were different and embraced for it but treated and loved the same and different. I know this may sound a contradiction and it is and then it is not. Basically, just because one child didn’t do everything the same way by this date or milestone but was close life went on as always. Overreaction causes tension as stress for the babies which results in some of these problems.
My most treasured invisible rainbow was my son, Rusty’s observation that I was not myself since the wreck. I felt something was wrong physically. Nothing was showing up. A so called provider expert in brain injury pegged it is this and told me it was not the brain injury and when asked if she might be wrong said definitely not. Rusty gave me the confident each time to my injuries taken care of, which included vestibular dysfunction and more fracture; quite an invisible rainbow.