Laminate Is A Pervert

Elan Mudrow


Don’t snuggle with a rug

Unless properly vacuumed

And groomed

Hardwoods are bit ornery

but shine right up

When waxed with love

Hook Shag up with a van

They’re meant for each other

Indoor Outdoor likes it both ways

Tiles are squares, most of the time.

Don’t get suffocated by wall to wall

Make sure there’s a bit

of living room in your relationship

Keep doormats outside

They’re dirty little fuckers

An area rug can get over confident

Always put them in their place

Orientals are self-involved

Carpets are cheap dates

Never roll out the red carpet

When woven to someone else

Hallway rugs suffer

From a variety of lengths

Although they’re great at networking

Underlays should not be frilly

Make sure they remain discreet

Baseboards are untrustworthy

They are either hold onto the wall

Or conveniently side with the floor

Laminate is a pervert

Just ask Stainmaster

Avoid a…

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