Never Tumble Dry With A Stranger

Good advice!

Elan Mudrow


It’s not nice to bleach on a first date

My advice is don’t run

The dryer so often…..

Hang dry, when possible

Don’t depend on settings

Permanent Press isn’t that cute

Just because it’s wrinkle resistant

Don’t be a fool and fall in love

With a slick talking fabric softener

Large loads don’t rinse thoroughly

Have stale beer breath

Protruded bellies, no butts and

Talk inappropriately to you

About mixing and matching

Lint catchers are sluts

Save Bras! Use mesh bags!

Coin operated is up all night

Waking up with lonely socks

And missing underwear

Don’t trust a bad spin cycle

They slobber all over you

Detergents are flirts

Laundry baskets can’t be trusted

Hampers hide personal secrets

Then blab all the details to

Any passing weekly washday

Never leave a Kenmore

Alone with a Maytag

It doesn’t matter who’s a front loader

Never tumble dry with a stranger


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